today was a day like any other.

i started out my morning at franks diner. which is the best way to start a day in kenosha. after two hours of good food and conversation with a dear friend i went grocery shopping. i then wasted a good chunk of my day uploading music to my ipod. which by the way is in desperate need of more titles...suggestions are always welcome. i then went to work and this dear friends is where my fun begins.

for those of you who do not know i work at a library. i am not a librarian. you have to have a degree for that. yes im serious. but i do all the work you would assume a librarian does. only with smaller pay. so like most monday evenings i walked into a messy back room with a full table of media to process and a few carts to check in with more on the way. i take my time on monday nights. i have a system and it works best when i dont rush myself. so here i am plugging away clearing carts and shelving books when i finally decide to go put away this overflowing cart of media.

first the cd's. which are directly outside of the desk. admittedly i was browsing but still filing. when a woman approaches me about a childrens dvd. now just to clarify it is not my job to help people find things. and i dont mean this in the snotty im above that way. i mean it in a "thats what librarians do" kind of way. my job is to point them to the information desk in the middle of the library. yes right in the center in front of the doors you walked in through. yes the big giant desk with the big giant sign that says information. so i inform this patron that if she would kindly step eight steps to her right that the information desk staff will find her exactly what she is looking for. after the three most awkward seconds in my life she steps closer to me and informs me that she doesnt want to talk to them because they are busy. i look over her shoulder to see them talking amongst themselves about girl scout cookies. no no, i say they are glad to help you. (please remember i have a GINORMOUS cart of media to put away) but this does not persuade her. she just keeps staring at me. so i walk over to the catalog she is looking at and find the call number for the dvd. i walk her to the shelf that is labeled childrens dvds. grab the dvd and smile at her. i walk away quickly making sure to avoid the un-cameraed corners of the library until she leaves.

so back to cds i go. next i round the corner to audiobooks. much to my surprise there are two grown women sitting on the floor with piles of audiobooks on the floor next to them. the limit is 5 per patron so i know that they will not be able to take all 35 of these books out. so i kindly pretend to care if they need any help finding anything. both ladies scoffed at me. actually, audibly scoffed. i then turned into the next aisle, but not without say just as reminder the limit is 5 audiobooks per card. this obviously was enough to deeply insult both tweedle dee and tweedle dum. because they stood up immediately informed that they were fully aware of how the library worked and that they would take as many as they wanted. they proceeded to pick out thier 5 audiobooks and leave the other 30 on the floor for me to reshelve.

now this is not where the story ends. but it is where we transition from aggravation to shock and disgust. as im putting away dvds a women squeezes past me. now im not a small girl but there is at least 3 feet between me and the shelving unit behind me and she managed to push me and the send the books spinning. i glance over to see what area she is browsing in so i can avoid trying to shelve while she flips through the movies. how wrong i was to glance. what has been seen can not be unseen. my eyes are immediately drawn to what can only be compared to an electric white jello like substance, which unfortunately was this womans thighs. her skirt was shorter than my patience at this point and i was trying my best not to stare. however it wasnt her skirt i couldnt break my eyes from but the tattoos that ran down the back of her thighs. at first i thought they were skeleton fingers but no, as i continued to analyze i realized they were wings. very poorly tattooed wings. i decided that now was the time to get out medialand and back into the safe haven that is the back room. before i can return to my cart a well known patron who has more than just a few screws loose strikes up a conversation with our dear gelatinous friend. amongst the bits and pieces i managed to catch before hightailing it back to the safe zone was that the tattoos were wings and went covered both ass cheeks, there was some joke made about spreading her wings and that her brother had done it for her.

what has been heard can not be unheard.

please think twice before you go into public people. and please be kind to those of us forced to work with you.