oh darling part one...

i had to get out of bed to put this down. my mind wouldnt let me sleep until i stopped forming sentences in my head. trust metaphors are the worst lullabies.

as i mentioned earlier i am reading "good without god" by greg epstein, and to be rather honest i am so far unable to really attach to book. the writing is nowhere near a style that grabs nor even holds my attention. however there are a few clips and phrase that have lead me to read a few paragraphs here and there. more so than the book itself (more of an explanation of the humanist worldview than anything else) i suppose its the title that grabs me. the idea of good without god.

i can clearly remember a time in my life where i would firmly tell you that all that is good comes from god so therefore there can be no good without god. however today i sing a much different tune. while i believe that people who believe in god can and in most case do good, im also quite certain that one can both be and do good without god.

first however lets look at something ive been mulling over for a good portion of this snowy night. does someone who believes in god actually "do good"? here is my reasoning. "doing good" is often used to explain or describe action that is outside of what is expected of a person. going the extra mile, above and beyond, blah blah blah. however when a person is of the christian faith (because of my lack of experience with other faiths i will be using christianity as my comparison for most of this ramble) they are taking on the characteristics of christ. or at least striving to. so would most acts that are socially considered "good" (IE feeding the homeless, giving to the needy, community service etc) now become the norm for them? shouldnt these acts be considered no more out of the ordinary than a squirrel burying an acorn and then digging it up some months later? do we consider the squirrel to have do something extraordinary? or do we just dismiss it because it is what squirrels are suppose to do? if that is the case how does one "do good" with god? are they not just simply functioning the way they are suppose to?

now this circling thought led me to then consider what it is that those of us who do not stake claim in christianity do. i personally do not consider doing any of the above mentioned acts (feeding the homeless, giving to the needy or community service) to be out of the ordinary for any of us. i believe that merely as humans relate to humans we carry some sort of duty to look out for each other. to help in any and all ways possible and to carry a compassionate heart. i have to admit that a lot of the ideals i function off of i learned from my stint with christanity but honestly they were things i believed long before i was ever introduced to religion. my kindergarten report card states plainly "brandi is often too concerned with others. it is becoming a distraction to her."

ever since i was a child i felt the urge to take care of and help others around. sometimes to a fault. however it has always just been the most natural thing in the world to me. one of the greatest experiences in my life was the time i spent with SOMC (souled out masters commission) in new orleans after hurricane katrina. never in my life would i think to say that waking up at 5 am, showering in a community shower, cooking two meals a day for over 600 people or sleeping in a tent with 500 strangers would make the highlight reel of my 25 years. but i must say it has. and i never felt closer to whatever higher power there is than those days either. i felt completely in tune not only with the people i was working with but those i was there to work for. everything felt completely in line and natural. organic. at the time i would have told you that i was there because it was what god wanted me to do, this also happened to be the answer for why i didnt quit SOMC either. but looking back on it i realize that i felt completely in tune with myself during that time. i often reread my journal from those days and realize how much joy and peace i found in helping others.

i suppose i really have no answer to this question. im not really sure if there is a definite one. "good" is as subjective as beauty and truth. i suppose its just that i now believe that i dont need a banner to throw over these acts, that it is weighing on my mind so much.

heres to the best we can make happen.
heres to what we hope.